Disappointment is like that uninvited guest who shows up at the worst possible time. It’s that gut feeling you get when things don’t go the way you planned, which unfortunately happens more often than we’d like as we move through life.  

We all face it at some point but what’s most important, is how we respond to it. Disappointment can be a reason people give up on following their dreams. However, if properly handled, it can make you more determined and can actually set you up for success.

The link between disappointment and resilience

Dealing with disappointment is about strengthening your resilience and bouncing back - whether you’re feeling like you’re not at the right place in life, others have let you down, or circumstances beyond your control are causing problems for you. Resilience is not something that you are born with, it’s a superpower you develop, often in the face of adversity.

Dealing with disappointment (because it does happen)

When disappointment hits, sometimes it can feel like you’re sinking into a pit of despair. But before you throw in the towel, there are ways to cope - and bounce back stronger.

Reframe what success means (hint: it’s not about perfection)

Success isn’t a one-size-fits-all thing. It means different things to different people and even your version of success can be a constantly shifting goal post. Instead of viewing success as hitting your goal, focus on progress as small wins do add up.

• Small victories count: If you have a savings goal and you only managed to save a small amount this month, that’s still something. Every dollar closer to your savings goal is a step toward achieving it. Give yourself credit for what you have achieved, even when you haven’t reached your target.

• Progress over perfection: Focus on making consistent progress rather than striving for flawlessness. If you spent a little more than you expected on a night out or went a bit crazy at the retail sales, just accept that setbacks are inevitable and keep going.

Check your expectations and reframe them (reality check, please!)

One big cause of disappointment is when we expect things to happen in the exact way we imagine. Spoiler: life doesn’t usually cooperate with our exact plans.

• Be realistic with your goals: Say you’re hoping to buy a house within a year but have only just started saving for a deposit - maybe it’s time to adjust your expectations. That’s not giving up - it’s just getting real. Set goals that make sense and give yourself room to grow.

• Adjust as you go: It’s okay if things don’t move as quickly as you thought. The housing market is challenging, and things like interest rates or unexpected expenses can throw a wrench in your plans. The key is to be flexible and adjust your goals accordingly.

Keep on trying (even when it feels like a struggle)

Resilience is the art of getting back up when life knocks you down. It’s about facing disappointment, dusting yourself off, and getting back in the game.

• Don’t give up after one setback: It’s totally fine to have a pity party for a few hours (or days) when something goes wrong, but the next step is moving forward. Keep going, even when things feel tough. The only way out is through.

• Reach out for support: If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to lean on others. Ask for advice from people who’ve been through the process. A pep talk from a friend or family member can make a huge difference.

• Take breaks when needed: Resilience doesn’t mean pushing yourself to exhaustion. If you feel burnt out, take a step back. It’s okay to rest and recharge - it’s part of staying strong in the long run.

Reframe disappointment as a lesson, not a roadblock

The truth is disappointment is an inevitable part of the process when you’re working towards something big. But rather than seeing it as something that stops you in your tracks, try to view it as a learning opportunity.

Disappointment can teach you about patience, perseverance, and the importance of flexibility. Every time you face a setback, you get a little bit stronger, and a little bit wiser. Keep going, keep adjusting, and above all - keep believing in yourself. You’ve got this!